On Taking Up Space

Sunday, October 6, 2019

Somewhere along the way, I lost the desire to say things online. I felt naked. Too vulnerable for all the thoughts and words swirling in me. One of my friends ever so often would say on the phone during a life-catch up, “you should write again. You have really good things to say.”

And each time, I laughed wryly, Oh, thanks...and trailed off. No, no, you really do, she assured me. I know, I replied.

It’s taken a couple of months of listening to and watching ordinary women write and say and be wonderful things to re-encourage and convince me that I, too, can. Again. As Sarah Von Bargen recently said about the small plastic cups that drinks come in on an airplane, “You can ask for the WHOLE 👏🏼 DANG 👏🏼 CAN 👏🏼.”

I think I’ve been waiting for some form of unofficial permission, from what I don’t know—some external form of validation. But the only permission I’m waiting on is my own. So here I go: unabashedly, irrevocably, delightedly giving myself permission to write and create and claim this space as my own again.

The whole dang thing. 

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