Monday, February 3, 2014

---written last week

I'm not sure why I keep writing about the sun.

I've been drawn to it lately - the sunshine.

It is so odd it brings a smile to my face when I pause to think of it. I've always been a rainy day child, loving the cool, wet feel of grey skies and damp grass...two things that make me think of England and Ireland, of tea and books, and of coziness and contentment.

But lately, something has been different. I still love the pale, overcast skies on days of rain...but now, every single day finds me turning to the sun hungrily.

 Chasing the sunlight. Seeking its rich, gentle warmth and steady, benevolent rays.

And I'm not sure why. Every day since the semester began, I've sought out the sun, feeling a slight pang of sorrow each time it sets and the sky grows cool and dark as the light + warmth slips away.

I crave the warmth of sunlight now as much as I crave solitude for my spirit to settle and my soul to breath.

And I think it is because there are many things stirring and moving in me - new thoughts, new emotions, new plans, new words. A new me. 

It is the third week of this semester - the last week of the first month of the new year. And already I am changing. Already, I have changed. 

I think I am turning to the sun, reaching my head to its life-giving rays because this is indeed winter. In more ways than of me are being pulled and uprooted to make room for growth that will come in the future, when fresh life comes in the wake of spring. 

I feel somewhat like brush or seeds buried deep beneath layers of leaves and dirt in the cold air...and always, I am trying to look up to the sun for warmth. For life.

I love metaphors because they are so true - as I've learned these past few weeks. This is indeed a season of quiet and calm, and digging deep, and breathing in new life. Of allowing a Gardener's hand to pull and clear out weeds, plant new seeds, and cover them in quiet, soft dirt to wait. To wait through the chill and pensiveness of winter, of its harsh but necessary nature. 

And then...spring will come. Lovely, rich, overwhelming, new - and full of life + hope as only spring can be. 

Until then, I will wait, content in winter. Chasing the sun.


  1. I'm chasing with you. ;) I know exactly how you feel. I was catching up on Dr. Who (read: starting from the beginning at season one because - I am WAYYYY late to this game), and saw the episode where the Dalek just wanted to feel the sunshine. It got me thinking. I was going to write a post sort of like this, but I'm glad you beat me to it. :) Read my mind!
    ~ Country Girl's Daybook, recently posted: Happy blogaversary to me! →

  2. Beautiful. I really like what you have to say, Grace! So touching. Thank you. <3